In Which I Am Forced To Confess My Inability To Sing At Less Than Full Volume


Large hotel conference room, filled with round tables seating eight persons each. Each table is full; the persons number about one hundred fifty.
At front of room, an imposing podium and a long table not unlike that at which a wedding party is seated; in this case, said table is host to the most notable dignitaries at said gathering.

Cast of Characters:

Notable Gentleman stands at imposing podium.
New School Librarian (alternatively known as Marie Bernadette) sits at round table in front of room, surrounded by New Teachers 1-6.
Assistant Principal is seated next to New School Librarian. Other various dignitaries (1, 2, 3) are seated at head table.
Older Gentleman In The Back Of The Room


Notable Gentleman [into microphone at podium]: Please stand and join us in singing verse one of Our Country ‘Tis Of Thee.

[crowd stands]

Older Gentleman In The Back Of The Room [singing]: My country tis of thee…

[crowd joins in singing. New School Librarian sings, glad that she knows the words to the first verse of said song]

Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died!
Land of the Pilgrim’s pride!
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring!

[song concludes; crowd sits]

Notable Gentleman: Thank you. May I introduce to you Notable Lady. Please welcome her.

[Notable Lady crosses room to podium; crowd applauds]

Notable Lady: Thank you. I’m Notable Lady, and it’s great to be here. But first, I would like to say… I believe we have a music teacher at this front table, perhaps? I can’t be the only one who heard that voice ringing out. Thank you for helping lead us in song today!

Assistant Principal [turning to New School Librarian and including New Teachers 1-6]: you may not be a music teacher, but I’m thinking we may have a “staff chorus” component at the next school program.

New School Librarian [mumbling]: I don’t know how to sing anything less than loud…


2 thoughts on “In Which I Am Forced To Confess My Inability To Sing At Less Than Full Volume

  1. Ha! It’s hard to sing softly, don’t you think?

    At my last corporate job, I was busted on my first day because they took me along to a dedication of a playground the company built. We sang the national anthem and my co-worker picked up on it right away! So watch out for future staff parties with karaoke because they’ll always force you to get up there!

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