It’s story time.
Did you know Liz and I shared a room growing up? Until I was around 7, at which point she was 13 and thirteen year olds need their privacy you know and we moved in to separate spaces. But until then, we shared a room.
One day, I decided that her hamsters smelled bad. If you’ve ever smelled a hamster you know I’m right. And they were also pretty small and ugly. I was around 5. What do you do with ugly, smelly hamsters when you’re 5?
You paint their nails. You paint their nails and 90% of their fur with fuschia and hot pink and you make them pretty.
So, I’m sorry I killed your hamsters. I didn’t know that would happen. They looked pretty, though…
(And sorry mom and dad let me have a McDonald’s birthday party. I know you never really got over it based on how you brought it up all the time. Love you anyway.)